i took my niece and nephew trick or treating around the neighborhood.  aww, cute, i know.  but let’s face it, you’re not going to be surprised to hear that i had other motives.  i figured if i walked them to the door that i might earn some candy myself.  mama likes candy, and it just doesn’t feel right to steal all their candy when i can earn my own.

know what?  people are bastards.  of the 30+ houses we went to only 6 gave me candy.  wtf is that about?  why are people so damn cheap??

when i used to pass out candy to the little hoodlums in my neighborhood, i’d always offer a piece to mum.  and even a piece (of ass) to dad if he was hot. so next year, let’s make a little pact: if i show up to your door, you’ll give the candy to the kids, and you’ll hand me a piece too.  in return, i won’t key your car on the way down the driveway.

deal?  deal!